From February 18th to the morning of February 21st -- I managed to do what I’ve been telling people I’ve been wanting to do for years now: I directed a film again. A short film, the “student film I never made” as I like to call it. Something that my chief collaborators and I wanted to make and look as professionally as possible, that we pulled our money and resources together to make, that I called in numerous favors for from the goodwill I cultivated over the last five years (boy -- hope we didn’t squandered those favors; gonna need more in the future!) -- without losing sight of the fact that it was to be a project to get myself back on the directing horse... that was to get my producer and editor back in the habit of making movies of our own, in our voice.
That’s not to see this project is any mere exercise. We took it seriously. We asked more than we deserved of our crew and sought them out because we thought they would make the project the best it could be. And now, with some distance from the shoot, I feel we shot something we’ll be able to say we’re proud of at the end of post production. Something that is beautifully shot, that is performed with joy and abandon, that came not from one brain (I dropped any semblance of an auteur theory Day 1) but from the collective talents of everyone on set.
It was not without its pitfalls or problems (both preventable and unforeseen). It was not without its lessons that I learned in the midst of calling “Action!” nor that I’ve stopped realizing since calling wrap. But mistakes and lessons and moving on and struggling to make the day was what I anticipated and expected and wanted. Because I’ve been witness to and have worked with many other directors and producers who have endured the same process without a safety net (this was not for class credit; this is our money and time taken out by professionals to help me make a sugary sweet and goofy little short to enter into the world where there is no fool-proof, profitable market for sugary sweet and goofy little shorts) and the question that I wanted to answer for myself was: Could I do this myself now? I have proven myself as an editor; did I ever really prove myself as a director? Do I have what it takes to make quick decisions on the fly in the heat of the moment with a schedule baring down on me and my AD saying we have to move on but my editor saying “you didn’t get it”...?!
I don’t know if I’ve proven myself a good director or not; we still have to cut this movie. But I know this about the majority of the shoot: I had a blast. I loved having to decide between two different pairs of dress shoes, a white bow tie or a black bow tie. I loved watching my actors warm up and work their way to such comedic rhythms that I had to leave the room else I blow a take. I loved discovering that my DP had given me something better in the frame than I had imagined when our dolly didn’t work out the way we had wanted. I loved huddling with my producer and editor to talk about how we could cut down the coverage in a pivotal scene. I loved my crew for coming together to help me make a movie... and for having faith in me that I could lead them in making it.
I feel like I have a new kind of momentum now. I hope it’s okay that I’ve shared this bit of soul baring with whomever might stumble across this post in the near future.
Now... I haven’t mentioned much about the film in any specifics. I will in the weeks ahead. But I want to focus on getting it finished before I start really giving any details about it away. Not that this is, like... Terrence Malick’s next opus. Just that... Good things happen when a movie catches an audience off guard, no matter how large or small the project.
More to come in time... For now, movie’s in the can (or to be more accurate, on the hard drives) and that’s a good feeling. Let’s revel in that... until my editor tells me otherwise... =)
