When you edit free lance, you tend to take on too many projects at once. Sometimes out of economic necessity, sometimes because a story or a filmmaker is so compelling you don't want to pass up being part of a project that could turn out to be unique or push your craft to another level; sometimes you're doing somebody a favor (watch out for those).
No matter what you sign up for, large or small, high budget or low, deadlines tend to get pushed or shuffled around, unforeseen problems arise that take time to suss out, or too many cooks enter the kitchen. When all of the above happens on two or three or four projects at once, they ending up caving in on each other with you at the center of the rubble.
Stuff's been caving in lately -- not in a way I can't handle, but... you know... even metaphorical cave ins suck -- and I made a mistake pertaining to my day job -- the one that pays the bills -- that I shouldn't let happen again even when I have to do what's required of me on one of my other jobs. I teach part time, and when my students expect me so that we can discuss their final projects and I don't show because of forces I could have better control over...?... Well, I feel I have let them down, which means I've let the school down, their parents down, and myself.
Sometimes editing independently can make you feel like you've given yourself up to the gods, that you've handed your fate over to someone else's control. It's silly to feel that way, I know ("Quit whining and take back control you pussy!"). But I can't deny it still feels that way sometimes. I need to work on finding a better balance an preventing those cave-ins before they occur...
